what to do when your partner wants to take a break
April 1, 2019
Taking a Intermission – The Do'due south and Don'ts of Pausing Your Relationship
"We were taking a break!" is a phrase the TV show Friends fabricated into a popular joke. You lot can probably hear Ross'south voice ringing through your head now!
But in reality, taking a break from a human relationship is no joking matter. In fact, many people feel they don't piece of work and lead to an bodily intermission up.
However, that'due south not true.
There are ways of taking a break that can atomic number 82 to the kind of clarity and understanding a troubled relationship needs to survive. Let's look into the do'due south and don'ts of pausing your human relationship.
Do: Be Honest Virtually Why
Before deciding to put your human relationship on interruption, it'due south of import to understand why you feel this mode.
Yous may have reached an impasse in the relationship and need to accept a pace back to refocus. Or a potential bargain-breaker has come upwards and yous need time to recollect.
Whatever you identify the issue to be, that'due south the fourth dimension to set downwards with your partner and talk information technology through. Be open and honest with them. And heed to what they take to say.
Above all, don't request a break in the heart of acrimony or frustration. It's a big decision to brand. And one that both of yous need to discuss and determine on together.
Don't: Take a Pause If You Want to Break upwardly
Many people decide to have a human relationship interruption to avert the messy situation of really breaking upwards. Just taking this deadening-motility approach will only exist harder on the both of you.
If you know y'all want to break upward, information technology'southward best to confront the situation caput-on.
Information technology may suck to think about hurting your partner. And the idea of being alone over again is scary. But taking a break volition only prolong the inevitable.
Breaking up at present, when yous know it's what you want, will let the healing process begin. Not but for yourself but your partner also. And you both deserve that much.
Do: Set Boundaries
In one case the both of yous take talked, and yous agree taking a break is best, it'southward time to set some boundaries. Because running into confusion and a hurtful situation down the road volition not help anything.
Just the boundaries may look quite different for each couple. It's all in what you feel comfortable with.
Will you lot still consider yourselves in a relationship during the intermission? Or will yous be officially unmarried during this time frame? Then you may want to discuss if you'll date or sleep with other people.
Be very careful, and crystal clear, in deciding what is acceptable and what is not. You both need to feel secure and have an understanding. Not only for your break but in the relationship that may follow information technology.
Don't: Communicate During a Break
A break means exactly that. And that includes taking a break in communication.
When you suddenly find yourself without someone who has taken up a big part of your life, it'south natural to experience a void. And in turn, information technology'south natural to proceed going dorsum to this person.
But you need this break to clear your mind and reflect. Having regular communication or fifty-fifty checking in with your partner will simply muddy things upwardly.
Use this time apart to gain insight into yourself, your partner, and your relationship. And to do that successfully, you'll need space without interruption.
Practise: Set up a Realistic Time Frame
Taking a break in a relationship without an end in sight may create turmoil and feet. And in reality, an open up break is a breakdown. That'due south why it's a good thought to set a time frame.
Brand information technology a time frame that both of y'all feel comfortable with. You may feel a calendar week is enough time apart. Or y'all might need a month.
Just be sure to respect that time frame once it'southward set. You may become half-style through and know y'all want to stay with your partner. But they may need more time.
Seeing the time frame through will ensure everyone gets the infinite they need.
Don't: Focus Solely on Your Partner'southward Needs
Sure, a break is a time to reflect on your relationship and your partner'south needs. Merely don't forget about yourself in the procedure.
Your needs and well-being are important. So use this time for You!
Spend fourth dimension on hobbies y'all savor. Attain out to family unit and friends. And getting physically agile will release "feel good" hormones that tin help yous get through this difficult situation.
Taking care of yourself throughout a relationship interruption volition give you lot the self-confidence to make the right decision.
Do: Ask Yourself the Of import Questions
While you're taking time to focus on yourself, it'due south also the fourth dimension to beginning facing the of import questions.
Are you seeing things clearly from both sides and understanding your partner's concerns? Are y'all putting the kind of effort into the human relationship you lot should be? Or are you lot pointing fingers and placing blame?
The time you spend alone while taking a break will also leave you with other questions to reply.
Are y'all happier without your partner around? Can y'all not imagine a future without them? Or are you hanging on considering you don't want to exist lonely?
Asking yourself the hard questions will get you downward to the nitty-gritty part of your feelings. The part that will atomic number 82 you to brand a determination near your relationship that's best for both involved.
Don't: Ready Unrealistic Expectations
Nobody and no state of affairs is perfect. So setting unrealistic expectations on your relationship and your partner will only be setting yourselves up for failure.
Realize every relationship takes work. Mistakes are going to happen and feelings are going to get hurt. Simply it's how much of yourself you're willing to invest in this human relationship that will dictate the issue.
Be realistic about each of your needs and weaknesses. Be honest near the function each of you plays. And know to starting time fresh, y'all need to set expectations that create a relationship worth fighting for.
Taking a Break Provides Relationship Clarity
When yous're in the midst of a murky relationship, there'southward zippo wrong with wanting to take a footstep back to meet things more conspicuously. In fact, taking a break may provide the exact clarity you need. Only then will you be confident enough to know how to move forward.
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Source: https://www.ourrelationship.com/taking-a-break-the-dos-and-donts-of-pausing-your-relationship/
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